Hey Miller, here’s a chilly reception.

You know, things couldn’t be better for craft beer lovers right now. It’s the only segment of the brewing industry showing growth (double digit growth at that). The country is teeming with great breweries. Distribution is improving, and good American beer is starting to get some space on the menu at fine restaurants. Even wine lovers are having a difficult time turning up their noses at the “beverage of the unwashed rabble.”

Dare I say it? Craft beer is beginning to get respect

Fortunately, there’s the Miller Brewing Company to bring everything crashing to the ground. Advertising for their new “Miller Chill” has stormed the airways, reinforcing beer in the mind of the mainstream as nothing but a get-drunk party bev that tastes so bad it’s consumers have to add shit, just to swill it down without yakking up their Mexi-Melts.

Miller chill is “brewed with a hint of lime and salt,” the television tells me. WTF? How did that marketing meeting go down? Was the executive vp gnawing his way through a bag of extreme Doritos when the idea hit him? “Hey, (crunch crunch,) wait a SECOND!”

Apparently, Miller Chill is aimed at the segment of Corona drinkers for whom self-application of lime wedge to beer is just too much of a pain in the ass. And salt? This just mystifies me. Never have I had the urge to salt a beer. Apparently, adding lime and salt to watery lager creates something called a “chelada,” which is popular among the Hispanic population in Southwestern cities. There’s nothing quite as authentic as a huge national corporation getting all ethnic on us.

I haven’t tasted Miller Chill, and the chance of me doing so is virtually nil, so I’ll close with Beer Advocate’s review of this brand spanking new beer-flavored beverage product. If you like Miller Chill, get it while you can. Betcha it’s discontinued within nine months.

-Mark

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