I had no idea this drama was unfolding.
What’s the real motivation here? Banning these six beers because their labels could be appealing to children is illogical and inconsistent with the way the Liquor Authority handles other brands of booze.Is someone trying to punish the brewers of these beers?m If so, why?
Face it, no matter how attractive these labels are, they’re nothing on a bottle of Captain Morgan with its loveable pirate. And what’s a kid more likely to find in daddy’s stash, a six-pack of some obscure microbrewed seasonal Christmas ale, or an 80-proof fifth of the good Captain?
Memo to the Liquor Authority. Kids don’t give a fuck what is on the label of their illicit alcohol. They’re not going to stand outside the Piss N’ Pay trying to cajole some hood into buying them “Bad Elf Barley Wine” at $10 a six-pack. They’ll be gunning for the CASE of Golden Anniversary retailing for $5. The idea that underagers will prefer this stuff over whatever else is cheap and easy is stupid.
They just want to get drunk and be cool. Just like we did. But now, I, at 35, want a bottle of Bad Elf. Guess I’d better head off to Massafreakin’chusetts.